Hey and hello

hello world,

sometimes we don't realize that life is beautiful enough. well i admit sometime we want life like our plan but life that ALLAH SWT plan to us is beautiful enough. there someone which before this one of my friends ask me, don't you feel alone when your doesn't have boyfriend who care about you all the time. at that time, i just answer that for me, is enough when i have my family, my friends near me. i admit sometime when i watch korean drama, movie or anything just feel like i want to have somebody like one of them, then i just realize why i need boyfriend, then i decided i just decide to get marry to a men who love me( just feel like this man are exist or not). i believe in love but to be fall in love its hard.

i admit like other person, i'm rare like everybody said to me. hahahah  i don't even know what i talking about right now. maybe i'm stress with full of assignment. i just need a friends who can make me laugh when i'm in hard time. woooooo but i'm afraid to fall in love with my bff(men only ok).

next topic please, ahhahahah, to a person once to be my friends. are we still friend or we just a people like who only know each other? hahahha i don't think you want to read my blog, my mini diary( only sometime). wooooo when i'm stress i just need an ice cream or movie or just joke.

i don't my housemate and i will fall into what category, are we fall into category that need to marry early or just feel for teenager. hurm. for my friend who is baby november, happy birthday guys. love u all, may ALLAH SWT bless u . just keep smiling and enjoy your life. remember life is beautiful.

3 November

why 3 november. hahahha just want my friends remember that day. the day i see this world. the day i born in the world. the most beautiful day in my life. hahahah i want to share my dream in this blog. i want my partner who will be my destiny proposed me on this day, but marry on other day cause i don't want to celebrate with hurtful memory. i'm not good enough to other.


forget about that. i want to share my new experience maybe. i'm not beautiful like my friends. i just like ugly duck who friend with beautiful swan. i doesn't have fair skin like them, but i feel thankful to ALLAH SWT who give me a friend who can accept me who am i. one of my friend told me that scarf that i wear is not suitable with my skin, it make me look more ugly( more pale). then, my friends said, its beautiful, try on yourself cause you have inner beauty. then i wear that scarf with black blouse. one guy who follow his sister do peace symbol to me. hurm i just think perhaps he do to my friends cause they look more prettier than me. owh ALLAH, he look at me and do it again. then my friend who told me that i'm not pretty said wowww you have guy who attract to you. actually i don't give a damn to see that person again. well that day everything happen in a day.


hellooo, i'm za fei, wish my happiness in my upcoming birthday. wish me to smile ok. hahahhaha sayonara, zaijian,

DA'IE MUDA TUNGGAK PEMBANGUNAN UMMAH

alhamdulillah kali ni diberi kesempatan utk mendengar ceramah dari PU Rahmat ngn akk Dena Bahrin. alhamdulillah best sgt. terkesan dlm hati ni ceramah yg padat dgn info dan terhibur tu.

"JANGAN PANDANG PENDOSA SEPERTI TIADA MASA DEPAN DAN JANGAN PANDANG ULAMAK SEPERTI TIADA MASA SILAM"

"SYURGA DICIPTA UTK PENDOSA YG BERTAUBAT MANAKALA NERAKA DICIPTA UTK PENDOSA YG XMAU BERTAUBAT"

sementara ada masa ni buat la baik. duhai wanita dosa auratmu bukan shj dipikul olehmu malah dipikul oleh ayahmu, saudara lelaki mu dan yg dah bersuami, dosa itu dipikul oleh suamimu.

saya tahu, hendak berubah secara drastik sgtlah sukar, tapi kita boleh mula berubah secara perlahan-lahan, moga niat kita dipermudahkan Allah SWT. saya bukanla insan yang sempurna, tapi ingin berubah kearah kebaikan. murahkan senyuman, maniskan dengan iman.

"IMAN BERMAKSUD PERCAYA"

"JANGAN CEPAT MENGHUKUM ORANG"

"SENYUM SELALU"

love???

i don't know what i'm feeling right now. my friends told me that my feel to iz is just like. love is not like. hurm i also doesn't know. but when i meet my old friends mie. that feeling come in different ways. i always think everyday and every people i meet is damn cute just like mie. hurm but his my best buddy, and i don't think that he love me too. i told to my best friend jiha. she told mie what i'm feel and me to whatsapp mie. i do that with high level of nervous( it feel like i think i'm gonna married or something bad will happen to me). then i have shock fever, feel such a cold, heart beat increase. mie told me that he just think me like his sister even though we are same age. mie told me that what i feel maybe temporary but i don't know. it just happen without i realize. if i want, i don't want to fall in love with my best buddy. hurm i know he might not know this but i just feel bad for make this relationship more awkward because i told him the truth. the truth that i cannot lie but only pretend to be ok only. i hope you happy with your life me, that 3 days i spent to you is most good memory best friends.

my memory might not good enough to remember all thats, my health might not okay to be your best buddy until we all old, who knows perhaps i die first that all of you friends. if i die, pray for me. if i'm health right now, pray also for me. we prays for each others and make our life more happy and enjoy days.

EMOTIONAL

lately i have been too emotional and i don't know why?. even its only a simple mistake, i want to cry. maybe to other its normal but for girl like me is abnormal. i use to keep the feel and pretend to be happy but now i'm too emotional, i get angry even a small matter. hhahahah perhaps i in stress mode with assignment. maybe.... i made decision, the decision that i even hardly to make it. i ask ijam to delete my name in his tweet. and now we're not chatting anymore. hah sad, miss, of course the thing happen but i'm not a girl who will pressure him to love me back cause i know he still love Z. if ask him, does he know my birthday. of course he not even we were close friend. i'm just nobody to him.

i don't want to remember it anymore. new story. new story. you want know something, i think my chemistry with bread lately its to strong or maybe i just miss my dad bread?. hurmmmm i watch a drama and movie that have bakery shop. how lovely their bread..huhuhuhu i'm hungry right now. don't you hungry too. ahahahha now i'm listening fai sing a song entitle "cinta".. how lucky she are in love with someone that love her too. hope you guys get married soon. thia already sleep, dilla also. hhahaha i will continue watch drama 49 days. fai said it was a sad drama. but we will wait and see.

STRESS VS CHILDISH ACTION

hahahah stress doing assignment, what madam want in this assignment also i don't know. DAD( DATABASE ANALYSIS DESIGN). i must redo back my assignment. madam just write no example, this wrong, but i don't know what wrong madam. huhuhuhu

now stress increase more because of you, ijam. why you update your tweet using my full name hah? even i don't use it usually. i only use in formal event. please ijam. you happy with your life and i'm gonna make my life happy too. who do you like and what do you want to do its up to you but please remove my name, i feel awkward being like that. i admit, before this i want to block you because i cannot handle myself for not take note about you. but i'm realize now it myself to handle it. i'm not going to block you. i maybe cannot be like before. i don't want to keep people annoyed with me. i'm sorry for my mistake.

hahah fai said my voice is small but high pitch. hahhaha its sound like child when it want something when i shout through out the window. hahahahah i always miss the moment to go picnic with family. its really long time not see them. i wish i could meet them.

yeayyyyyyyy semester holiday is nearrrrrrr, cannot wait it anymore

STRESS AND SAD

why stress. hahhaha it because there is too much assignment to do, practical of computer system, mock interview, submit assignment system analysis design(sad), dad, pp. huhuhuhuhu my head wanna explode. its all must be tomorrow. whyyyyyyyyyyyyy..  yesterday i went to thia's cousin engagement, feel so bored, went i came back, i fall asleep and wake up this morning. hhahah too long time to sleep.

sad, why you come when time is not suitable, but thank to you crush aka ijam, well i must admit that i need to move on and forget him, i wish i can. can i block you ijam. i don't want to chat with you anymore. forgive for all my mistake. and i feel so ashamed that i have enough brave to tell you that i like you before this. like i said to hus and my mom, maybe i don't wanna get married. not because i don't want to have family, i want but i afraid i don't get a person who love me with their heart, i'm afraid, when i see many men are bad. not all men like playboy or such like love to play with others heart. i admit, maybe i'm too childish to say like this because i doesn't have experience but i said what i have seen in my daily life and married is such a good thing to do but terrified me. i know what happen to my life, ALLAH SWT know better than me. hahaha but don't worry i'm not a kind of lesbian, YA ALLAH please away me from that thing. its haram in ISLAM. i think i want to improve my social skill and perhaps i want to post my video in this blog. hahhaha just want to try it. like pretty good eh.

HYE HYE HYE

now i'm at thia's house which mean i'm force by her to here. by the way tomorrow will be thia's cousin weeding and i have to join it. huhuhuhuh so sad. hahhahah this week i meet new friends which is thia's friends name alam, jamil, aiman, bangla, qutee, aleh, and hafizzuddin. hye friends ^_^ . also thanks to syipa, i have receive my shawl. cannot wait to wear it ahaks. you know what, i'm playing with my heart right now, i think cause i said to myself if ijam don't online 3 days when i'm online that we were meant together, now its true. hahhaha too childish am i right. do i look care when people said that i'm not eldest daughter in my family. but people always think that i'm the youngest one. hahhah i look pretty young. hoorey .

fai i borrow your wedges, next sem i think i should bring my wedges.

MORNING2 AND SMILE

hahahahha just a busy day again today, hahahah i miss mr FI again. hahahahah but FI is not main character today. to day is my bestie. first is husna. i know her since grade 2 primary school until now. alhamdulillah we still best buddies until now. she know everything about me, my problem and about FI too. instead of that she always give me support. thnx sis. next my buddies who know my problem since grade 1 secondary school is anas and balkish. thnx friends for always beside me even we now only contact via fb and phone. miss you all. last is thia, jiha, dila, mai, bella, fai my friends at here. not forget my crazy cousin, bob. hahahah i hope you all achieve your happiness first. i'm happy when you all happy.

FI

hey you, when you ask for couple. honestly i feel happy but at the same time i scare if you just kidding. before this you already tell me for not put a hope for you and you said you didn't forget she. i just want a guy who love me. i don't want a puppy love, i just want a love with marriage ending. i know its hard. but i scared if you said like that, i' afraid you will leave me or broke my heart. i'm sorry if i just like syok sendiri.

HELLOOOO

hahhaha i know major of people getting tired with my useless update. nonsense talking and blabbering about am i right. hey you, can you tell me why my feel heart feel wanna cry. hurm i know that problem now. i might make someone that i love hurt. it feel pain and i feel that too. hahhahah you might think this is cliche but for me is true and i don't lie about it. but i'm happy now my family still healthy and i hope everyone happy too. i'm not perfect person but just a person who try to be nice and still learn to be nice

CLEANING HOUSE

hahhahaha such as crazy thing to do when you're mood supposedly to study or doing assignment during revision week but my housemate decide to clean our house. hahahaha enjoy the moment washing every inch of our house. what i'm blabbering about? just ignore it. its just an intro. this morning when everything have been okay, i opened back twitter and Facebook. see he already sign out. hurm hahahha when i opened his twitter account (betul ke ayt ni. bantai je la). he already change his header.its look like cute guy. its that him. YA ALLAH such a cute guy. he look so young than i imagine.

fai said he maybe lied to me, perhaps that picture was not him. but my instinct said i don't love his face but his attitude. seriously he so cute. hahahha is that your picture mr FI. hahahah if not you, i don't mind, but said to that guy. your so cute hahahah. totally i said, i always look at appearance before his attitude but i don't know why i love your style. if FI read this, ignore it ma, okay.

i try to look a person who can hear i blabbering, sing with terrible voice, hear my problem and i can hear that person problem too. hahahah not everything we can share with parents. i don't want my parent worried to much about me. i want that person always remind me my responsibility to ALLAH SWT and not to having to much fun because perhaps one day i maybe hurt. always keep smile fie. hahah don't worry about that.hahah such like a crazy person.

DREAMING

i think i just like can dream to have a guy who can make me smile when i have a problem and will lend his hear to hear i'm blabbering. but it just a dream. i admit i'm not a really good person that deserve good guy but its not easy to open your heart as you want. i have make a mistake for fall in love to you but it just that i the only one chase you. like you said its better we be only friend. to looking for another guy as you said its totally impossible right now. cause i had made a decision to close my heart for fall in love to other guy except my husband only. insyaallah i will make it true. its not your fault that i'm being like this. its my fault for fall in love to the person that only in dream also i can't catch it. hahahah what nonsense i'm talking right now.

forget about it. focus your future. catch your dream. and the most wanted yow  is flying to oversea continue degree there( perhaps). wish me luck okay. i want to have great job. (dreaming to be a programmer in microsoft company) pray for me to achieve my dream.

ASSIGNMENT AGAIN

hahahha i'm not going run from assignment cause it chase me until now. no matter i dislike to do, it still a lot of it. hahhahah just ignore me. i think to much today until my brain feel want to explode( just in dream). i want to share about the moment i'm with my housemate jiha, thia, fai, bella. this time dilla not with us. 

hahah fai= red skarf, thia the floral one, bella the purple one and jiha the leopard one. hahhah just implement " lets we take a selfie first". hahahhaha this picture was taken last sem i think. just miss the moment . we never know when we will be friends. but right now, i'm doing my assignment while thinking to the person that i'm only crush like an idiot girl again. my friends always tell me that i look like idiot person when it came to this chapter. hahahah lets forget it and start focus.hahhaha system analysis design need to submit tomorrow...

to bella and jiha, wait me for have whatsapp next sem. i will always contact you. hehhehe don't worry about me too much okay.

assignment + rindu

hah assignment vs miss what do you thing will be the winner. hahhahah of course both not the winner cause i'm the winner hahahha just a joke if you take it as a joke. redo time, assignment phase two, appeal, camp, my feel miss, its all happen to me. i miss my family, abah ibu, abg ashraf, adik mir, dekwad.. whaaaaa i miss them damn much. but now include one more person that i cannot hide my miss, my jealous. hurm i don't know what happen to me right now

be patient fie, you will come back home...

HEY YOU

 hey you, my dear FI, its hard to see you, i just waiting you all night cause i only can meet at night. hurm its seem like i'm the only one who like "syok sendiri", hahahhaha i'm totally idiot when its came into you. what should i do, i know you have crush on someone. do you get that person. hey crush be brave, don't be like me. hahahhaha #iwanttoseeyou face to face but its like we're still not meant to see each other yet

WHATS??????

he read my blog and he know that thing, how ashamed. i feel like i'm wanna keep my face under my bed. hey crush, this is my privacy, stop read it. it just  a place where i want to story everything about my feel. stop making me like this. Hey dear FI, if you doesn't like please don't give me any hope. it just i don't want my feel more hurt.

hahahaha i feel like i'm totally idiot girl chase a guy who doesn't want me. hahahaha...

biggest crush

yuhuuuuuu everybody has their own crush am i right. i don't know if this kind of feeling whether crush or i'm already fall in love with that. it just kind of sweet but at the same time painful for waiting that person even your deny that feel.

i never wish that person to be my first love. my special crush just i don't know why i love that person. am i stupid cause love the person even i don't know how he/her face. just kind of weird because all the time i get know him/her, we always argue like kid and i still remember all the moment. hurm i don't know what i'm writing now. just little crazy but my crush is the one of my best friend . i miss that person so much even i know that person already have the one that he love too. i'm always try to be cool even its hard. so i hope he doesn't get hurt what i'm trying to do. 

i hate him,

he just came when he needs me,

when i want to forget him, 

he reminds me old memory,

why been like this,

i hate this situation,

i hate to know that,

 i'm just supporting character,

in your life,

you never know me,

you been secret with me,

all the story about you, 

but i still miss you,

your my biggest crush,

i have been crush you,

a long time before.

so mr FI. i miss you but i know i'm not somebody special to you to tell those word to you. so i hope you'll be happy with your love.

assignmet

hurm i think my head just like want to explode is because of me. i'm too lazy to do the assignment cause i don't understand what they want also i didn't studied that thing before i receive my assignment. i just wish, how good i'm if doraemon is here. i will ask doreamon to finish my assignment.

i hope there has a library that everything inside it and its open 24 hours. i talk like i love to go to library . hurm if this all can be settle easy. now i still wondering why i choose computer system course not another, i doesn't have a basic about computer. perhaps that course is my destiny. hahahahha i also scared when i'm study but i love it. that's we called chemistry between us and our course. just kidding ma.

life

well the thing happened to everybody, try to be chill okay. maybe that person are not your destiny partner. i know i'm not good in communicate, i'm not good be a good person but i will try to be a strong person and just keep silent and be patient when others make my feel like a toy, cause i know is useless to paid back their bad to them. It make me also like them. People always ask me for told the story that i keep in my heart, my tempered but

its true okay. I just be on that side which when i'm story people doesn't understand. perhaps i can't find the right word to show how i feel. being silent is better cause if start talk people always said that i'm start blabbering . Maybe my communication skill are still bad, or i'm too much overload the information. This is life,  i try to be more cheerful even people always said that my characteristic are strange.

Last word from me, get success in your life. i will work hard to achieve it.

just thinking back

when i'm thinking back, i just think "am i doing any wrong to others, why they do this to me. If  I can handle it, I will do, if not I will silent as much as I can." its not all joke people can take it. i'm not a super duper perfect person who can be a patient person for a long time. hurm sometime my tempered will increase too. 

okay if you can't take my characteristic but don't make that thing like a toy.  I admit that i'm not a talkative person but people who's know me can detect it. well nowdays i admit what bella said is true, don't trust people easily even they your friends.