I MISS YOU !!!

hey friends, i miss you guys, i miss my family, i miss my sister, hus and limau, i miss my bro harris and the most i miss for this moment is ijam. Its my mistake for ruin our friendship, its my mistake to make we lost contact forever, its my mistake for delete your number and ensure i cannot contact you anymore. I totally miss you ijam, i miss our moment but past stay past. I bet you have better life and meet new person unlike me, i just your online friends and we contact only for 3 years maybe. I must being like crazy people disturbing your day and night. To Fazril Izham bin ______, thanks for being my best buddy with sweet talk. You are the first person which are actually first sweet guy being my best buddy, other don't make it cause i really don't like sweet guy or maybe i have been your friend for 3 years, so i can adapt your sweet talk. Honestly it my mistake for not recognize what my heart wants and always confuse it.  I think i want to wait my dream guy ( the guy that always calm me in my dream whenever i feel sad or stress) but now never dream him anymore. Maybe he think that i'm enough stronger to handle all problem by myself or he think that i have friends beside me.

FRIENDSHIPS

Friendship, i have a lot of friends, hahahha just kidding, do you think i have a lot of friends, i never have a lot of friends cause people never get along me. They just find me when they need me only, Okay just now, i just find that one of friends said that my attitude totally fuck, damn am i the one who need to blame. Hey come on, face with me if you doesn't like me, I already told to them, if you get any problem just told me. You are the one who create problem and then you blame on me. Okay i deserve all of this. I'm the only one who wrong and your guys are right cause you have backup who will agree what your said. I hate this situation, i never want to be like this, go ahead, i fed up with your attitude too but i try to be patient. What i did you will remember and repeat it all time, its annoyed, don't you know that. owh what i'm blabbering right now.
FEEL WANT TO SCREAM LOUD AS I COULD SCREAM. THINKING ABOUT PEOPLE MAKE ME .......

Story of my life

Today is the end of october, tomorrow will be my birthday month but yet i still face a lot of problem that i don't know how to solve it. Fact that my friends told me is i'm not beauty enough, i don't have fair skin just like them, what i wear sometimes become disaster, i have small eyes and big mouth which are to them are totally not a beauty type. I know they are beauty person, every friends see them told they are beautiful and unlike me. I never down because of that but because every time i over raising my voice, they said i'm emotional, when they are doing like that, i just keep silent and hear, but when comes to me, they just pass away. 

Today incident is, i just  don't want a coin money because my wallet cannot support to much of them, then everybody get angry with me, okay its my mistake. Because of this, everybody get angry with me, its like they want to show that they always be patient to me but i'm already cross the limits. Hello, i just keep everything happen in my heart only, everything they do to me, i just keep cause i never want to get angry, i hate to argue. To them, when i start talk, it just like i'm blabbering only, its happen when they talk too. I'm not a good writer who can write a lot of thing, i'm also not a good adviser but i'm a good listener. Everything that you want to ask, just ask me, i can hear well and keep well the secret. Honestly, when i think back what happen to me, it just kifarah and what i said a few years ago turn me like this. When i was a primary school, i always told to myself that i will never fall in love or been couple with anyone as long i'm studying, and now it still happen to me. When people want to know my experience about being love with anyone else, i just said 0 experience but i feel my family's love towards me.

Forget about my little story and hope tomorrow is better than today. chill up

HELLO OCTOBER

New day, new life, new moment need to be create. First at all, i just want to totally forget about zul, the guy that i have been crush in last post, but the end blocking me in all media social. Hahhahahha forget about him and focus on your study only. This week gonna be hectic to me cause i need to submit my system. arghh i don't have a lot courage to make it possible, but thanks to ALLAH SWT i pass my enhancement in Qaseh Gold system. I feels like gonna die, but my lecturer let me pass cause my system meet the criteria.

Days by day i try to be a better person in my life, but i still don't have a lot of courage to tell my parents that i have to extend semester, because i know its totally hurt them. To all my friends who born in October, i wish you all happy birthday, may ALLAH SWT bless you all. I totally miss my blog, but i will find  a way to update it always.

CRUSH OR CRASH

i know crush is like you waste your time like someone who doesn't know you exist or not. i've got a feeling that my friends also like him that's why i don't want to fall too hard into him. first real conversation today with in dm. he give his number but i think better never whatsapp him cause, once i fall, its hard to get up again. i will not easily give my love to others people unless they try hard to win it. i like you zul but it doesn't mean that i need to make sure you are mine cause i know i'm no one to you. we can be friends, can we. thanks for clearance declaration just now. don't worry i forgive late habib. okay new topics please. hahha forget about zulfitri, now how about your eid. i'm happy cause i enjoy my eid. 

this is my family okay.

this is my family only. mom dad grandma and brothers

so for now. this only. next time new story okay

last day??? hurmmm

well i hope this day will be my last day for waiting redo again assignment. its just, i feel so nervous when watch people getting back their assignment. i think if i just sit here and read a novel it feels like reading bedtime story. this two weeks are hectic for my course. like i said before, i never expect this course will be tough than study science course. huhh i don't know whether my brain can still functioning well or not even my laptop already display blue screen. wish me luck and wish me clear all the paper. hope everything gonna be okay.

smile

today, my day begun with i fall in front of college just like superman, it just bad luck to me. Next is, i has already called my internet service to terminate it and they just said " miss, you need to paid RM 200 for penalty because you have terminated before the contract is finished. you just need to wait the confirmation termination and if miss doesn't terminated it, the contract is still on after 6 days". Then today, after class at 5 pm, i go to center of the internet service, i'm so happy to terminate it, unfortunately, the cashier who is Kevin told me " sorry miss, the payment you need to paid is RM 323", damn i only bring 200 cause it just said like that. i'm so disappointed with the service which told me, the bill has already out and you terminated before one year service, but in contract it just said like i need to paid 200 only, then the person told me that i need to wait for the confirmation in few more days. I think Kevin and Alex already afraid that i will throw away thing at their store. Alhamdulillah i still know what is bad and what is good. Alhamdulillah Allah for giving me friends to help me to solve this matter. 

i'm trying to make a memo to me too to think carefully before make decision.

long long day

it has been so long when my last update. nothing to much to said or it just i don't even have an idea about my day, my life. This semester, my life become up and down, it just like the disaster have come when i have to repeat 2 favourite subject which oop and mda. oop stands for object oriented programming and mda stands for multimedia. it just because i'm not feeling well last semester which means my head just like wanna explode. i don't know why it happen but for me it make me more upset because i know i couldn't achieve my target. last semester i catch fever for more than 1 month this semester now it has been 1 week. i don't know what to do? hahah forget about that. seriously i miss my friend, fi but i think is the best way to lost contact with him. now i start to focus on my assignment. 1/4 sent epd. 2/4 submit mda. 6/4 submit wad. 8/4 submit oop. goodluck to my life. gambate

HELLOOOOO JANUARY. MISS ME ???

hello, how are you?

this january contain a lot of memories. first of all, i have got accident. chill it just shock accident. thanks a lot to my three hero that make sure my safety, sent me in front of my house, thanks guys but like i said just now i was shock at that time, when one of that guy want me to have his number, i said NO and just said thanks a lot only. oh my,  when i'm back from hospital, just think i have their number, i can treat them meal. but it already past. Nothing going to change. well just now, i whatsapps mr FI, it was my mistake asking his picture eventhough i know he doesn't like to give his picture to anybody. But i just want to know who i'm been friend. it just we already been friend for 3 years, and still i forgot that i am a stranger to him. he just find me when his girlfriend are busy or when he bored. well i think i used to be a tissue to my friends. they only find me when bored, when have problem. could anybody find me to share good news. i'm happy with my friends that still share me good thing but not all of time.

        let me share to you guys what character i am. well i'm the one flower of my siblings and i'm the eldest. i used to be a silent person when in front of i don't know. like everybody said to me i'm a quite person. i am emotional when it comes to illness, family, friends and death. i love to watch movie instead of listening song. i love all genre of movie but i'm scared of ghost movie. still can watch the movie, but i always paid to close my eyes more when at cinema. when you closed to me, i'm talk a lot but mr fi always said that i'm annoyed. well its up to him. i just hope that i will meet my future husband otherwise i let mom and dad to choose it, as long you can bring me to the good path more, i'm okay. 

     2014 i already close my book. i hope amie don't ask whether i go to hospital to check my headache. i hope migraine and headache doesn't come meet me this year because last year is the bad thing happened to me. 

    last for me, keep smiling and enjoy yourlife. make sure your day more cheerful. peace bye.

zaijian, sayonara, bye bye, goodbye.